It is officially prom season, and I have some advice for my fellow young people, as a young person.
Young ladies, consider dressing with real modesty and class this year. When you wear very revealing or provocative outfits, youโre often sending a signal that attracts the wrong kind of attention. If a guy wonโt take you unless you dress like a wh*re, heโs not someone you should be with โ heโs not interested in the real you, a future, or real love.
This advice isnโt just for attracting the right kind of attentionโitโs first and foremost for yourself. Both young men and young women should choose modesty and class as an act of self-respect and personal dignity. This will naturally flow into your relationship and love. You donโt need to follow the crowd or lower your standards to feel confident or worthy.
At the same time, ladies, hold high standards for your date as well. Expect effort, respect, and real character from him. And remember: a woman can be exceptionally beautiful, elegant, and deeply attractive without showing skin or wearing something provocative. A modest dress that flatters your figure in a tasteful way often draws far more genuine admiration and respect than anything provocative ever could.
Gentlemen, you have an even greater responsibility here. Do not let your date dress scandalously; if she insists on doing so despite your requests, this is certainly a major red flag. While you cannot force her to wear something, you can choose not to give her a date.
A woman who is legitimately interested in you and will build a real future with you will not feel the need to show up dressed like a pole dancer. If you are dating, you are obviously already attracted to this lady; she doesnโt need to half-undress to win your affections.
Men, you can begin this model by strongly encouraging your date to dress modestly, and to present yourself in conservative, classic attire, and behave with great class. As the guy, itโs on you to set a higher standard.
Moreover, (and ladies, this applies to you too), you can take this a great leap further: There is no requirement to have a date this prom, and you need not join โthe crowdโ and force yourself to pick up a date for this supposed โspecial night.โ
Few people may tell you this, but prom night isnโt as special as it is made out to be. There will likely be greater nights; if not, you can make them. Formal event opportunities are abundant, and special dates and events are prevalent in potential. If you cannot find a suitable date, that is okay. But if not, showing up solo is still permissible, and it shows you still set a standard for yourself.
Find a date with whom you can fall in love and build something real with. If you cannot, that is okay; they will come. When they do, you will know it, it will be far more special than anything you have seen, and the wait is always worth itโthough in the moment, this may seem impossible to believe. A day will come when you cross paths with this person in whom you instantly see the future, and when you do, you wish she (or he) were your first in everythingโand gaining โexperienceโ before never is a leg forward.
Real love isnโt found in excessive bare skin, rave dancing on the dance floor, or trying to finally act on a year of built-up desire in one night. True love isnโt found in a man or woman who is seeking to finally unleash their year-long sexual desires on an highly anticipated night.
Real love is the opposite of all of these, actually. If you lean into this, you will be far more content and happy for the entirety of your life. Your potential is not defined by what experience you gained at prom, or how much skin you showed, or how fast you came onto a girl.
Far more high school sweethearts would marry if they followed these principles.
Far more high school couples would actually stay together and marry if they followed this approach. There is real beauty in modesty โ it leaves room for imagination and respect instead of cheap leering. A modest dress that flatters the body will always be more attractive than the alternative. Revealing everything is like opening a Christmas present in July.
The same standard applies to the ladies. And guys โ step up your own game. Research classic clothing. Donโt forget the jacket in your ensemble, and avoid the modern ultra-tight fits. Classic colors (such as navy, black, and charcoal) are always superior. Adding a quality vest (avoid modern shiny vests that are so common now) and conservative oxfords or wingtips is always an upgrade. Pick a nice tie and complimentary pocket square, and comb your hair. Finally, for the sake of your date, wear a decent cologne. Furthermore, while men tend to show up clothed, it is your duty to remain so.
For centuries in Western culture, beginning in early childhood, youth learned these principles. They wore conservative clothing, expressed true love and how to fall into it, learned to slow dance (and not rave), and were classy and lovable to their dates. Even through restraint and modest clothing, they would still find strong attraction in each other and would fall in love all the same. They built something lasting instead of chasing one night of โecstasy,โ (or mistakes and regrets).
Resist the pressure to โsow your wild oatsโ on prom night. Choose maturity, class, and adulthood instead. Self-imposed limitations between a couple are the classiest, most admirable trait you will find in a couple. In a couple that expresses love, not crawling all over each other, holding hands and slow dances, not grasping at each other, often is found a couple who lasts for years to come.
My challenge to you: This year, raise the standard. Show real class, impress each other, and set a precedent for your future. You will not regret it.